Car Crash

Phone rings - Feb 4, 2020 4:35pm

Beau: Hey Shane....what you doing?

Shane: Not much, what’s up?

Beau: Sorry to bother you on your day off but I need you to come to the market.

Shane: Everything ok?

Beau: A car ran into the building.

Shane: What you mean “Ran into the building”?

Beau: Idk it like ran into the building and now it’s inside.

Shane: I’m coming.

I turn onto W. Main and see a line of traffic that is backed up all the way to Robichaux Ford. Both Lanes. I could see the police lights way ahead parked at the Market. Luckily I drive an aggressively large shit-getter that doesn’t take no for an answer. I threw it in FOUR, jumped up onto the left curb and started making my way closer to the action.

I managed to get to the Market without harming any people, pets or livestock and I only got the finger from 7 people. When I entered the back door, I thought back to what Beau said on the phone. He was exactly correct.

The car was inside. It’s now worth mentioning that we do sell retail items such as TTS Mustard, Local Honey, Cane Syrup, Quail Eggs, Pickled Okra, and Pepper Jelly. With that said, it’s even more important to know where we like to store these items on display. If you’re guessing along the front wall about two feet NORTH of the door, you’d be correct. The picture below will clear up any misconceptions you may have about where exactly the car entered the establishment. Folks, about 20 glass jars each of the six items I referred to earlier were nestled tightly on their shelves, all with forward facing labels. Then suddenly they weren’t. The car strikes through the wall and slams into the front counter, missing Lacey by three inches as she was scrolling marketplace for antique can openers or something.

“We’re not selling anything that is sticky ever again” - Beau Bourgeois

On the ceiling? Yes. Behind the oven? Yes. Inside of drawers 40 ft away? Yes. Literally an explosion of flavor. The combination of aromas for the next few weeks were frustrating. Pleasantness of honey meets repulsiveness of vinegar. It was sort of fun to watch customers come in and sniff around. Percle’s Body Shop was on site within minutes as usual to help patch up the wall. There were several injuries from the crash that could have all been fatal and watching the terrifying surveillance video reminds me to live each day to the fullest and to never ever put the sticky stuff near the front wall, ever.

By: Shane Thibodaux